Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Conservative History

Explain how conservatives are the primary drivers of man’s evolution. For instance, fire can only possibly have been discovered by a conservative unworried by liberal health and safety regulations. Moreover, by learning to cook meat, Early man made it more digestible, meaning he had more energy available to develop not only his “brawnpower” but his brainpower. If Homo Liberalis had gotten his way, fire would have been banned as a dangerous substance, and we’d still be living in the trees, chewing natural, healthy, raw vegetables, burping contentedly, and being ruled by a loud, gossipy matriarchy of Oprahs and Streisands.

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