Misc from Facebook

• As a young child my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.  Turns out the police call this “Identity Theft.” 
• Once in awhile someone amazing comes along, and here I am!
• I was cooking supper with wine tonight.  Didn’t go so well. . . After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
• Where do I find the forms to become an Illegal Alien?  I could sure use the benefits!!!
• Worrying is a waste of time.  It doesn’t change anything.  It messes with your mind and steals your happiness.
• My friend thinks he’s smart,  he said onions are the only food that can make you cry.  So I threw a coconut at his face.
• Life has no remote.  Get up and change it yourself!